On a flight back to New York I thought about a conversation I had with a friend. We talked about letting go of the past, in order to move forward with the future. Sometimes you have to let go so you can be free. It boils down to your sanity! You have to let go of a business deal gone bad, you have to let go of the ex that got away, and you have to let go of childhood disappointments that sometime follow you into adulthood. There is an old saying, "Life is what you make it" and if you let life's mistakes and disappointments dictate your life, you won't make much.
For many years I held onto a childhood disappointment. I tried to pretend it didn't bother me, but, I must admit, as I approached my 20's and into my 30's it chipped away at me. I realized I had two choices; I could continue to obsess over it and what coulda shoulda woulda happened or like Frozen, let it go! I have the power to choose to focus on the good and the present. I consciously decided the latter. I can't allow anyone or anything to steal my joy. Now don't get me wrong, this doesn't mean it still doesn't bother me or I won't randomly tear up, but I have no control over someone else's decisions, only my own.
As women, we are strong and resilient and I had to tap into my power supply. Here are three ways that helped me move forward toward a healthy balance for my life and career goals:
Healing for the soul.
There's a Kelly Price song called, Healing. There's a line in the song "I just can't do this by myself, I need help." Some things weren't meant to handle alone. Even the strongest woman needs a confidant. Talking to a friend or family member, seeking spiritual or professional guidance are ways that could help heal up old wounds. Finding your safe place to discuss your feelings with someone that cares about your well- being could help you let go and move on. Just like a can of soda; you can shake it up, and at some point you open the can— it will explode and there won’t be much left. Get some healing aka “help” so you won't explode!
Resolve and Conquer.
You don't have access to a time machine, so give yourself permission to let it go and conquer the past. You deserve a future free from lingering hurts. No matter how big or small those hurts are; you are more than a conqueror! Anything less would be a life that requires you to look in your rear view mirror and you can’t drive into your future looking back.
I realize that carrying around hurtful stuff might take time to heal, but you can start celebrating the life you get back. Think about how much energy you gave those moments in your life. I think about one instance in particular and now I laugh out loud about it. And back then, I could barely get out of the bed because it made me so sad. Find your faith, say RIP to the past, and put on your best outfit, because we have your future to celebrate.