By: Minda Harts, Founder, The Memo
“A lot of women, when they’re young, feel they have very good friends, and find later on that friendship is complicated. It’s easy to be friends when everyone’s 18. It gets harder the older you get, as you make different life choices, as people say in America. A lot of women’s friendships begin to founder. I was interested in why that was, why it’s not possible for a woman to see her friend living differently and just think, Oh, she lives differently.” - Zadie Smith
At the start of the year, I began to think about my relationships. Relationships can get complicated, and as Smith said, sometimes we don’t give each other space to change, or to “live differently.” This led me to think about my relationships with other women. I am fortunate to have so many awesome female friendships.
Do you ever just sit back and thank God (or whatever higher power you believe in) for your female friends, or those ladies in your “sister circle”? I thank Him for every last one, even those I'm no longer friends with.
Why are “sister circles” so important? First of all, they give you life! You can go through a lot of hardships in the course of a lifetime--so why on earth would you want to go through them alone? With great friends, there's no need to. As we build our careers, and set out to blow past our goals, we all need a good community of women to support each other at every stage.
I have always been a little leery of women who say they “don’t get along with other women.” What a travesty! Having a strong, supportive tribe of women that helps you keep your head on right, in my opinion, is essential. In the words of Rachel Maddow, I have needed someone to “talk me down” from making some questionable decisions. I thank everyone in my personal “sister circle” over the years for your friendship, love, and laughs. You ladies rock!
If you are looking for a sister circle, I encourage you to join the community at The Memo. We have a built in group of women ready to make it rain glass ceilings with you. Climbing the career ladder can be lonely, so today here’s my ode to just some of the amazing women in my life:
- My mother. She was my first best friend. She loved me before she knew what I would become. I hope that I grow up to be half the woman you are!
- My high school friends. One of my favorite sister circle moments was from high school, when two friends and I thought we should form a girl group: we called ourselves “UNIQUE.” We applied for this completion at the Holiday Inn. We had on matching outfits, and had come up with some two-step dance routine performing to “I Can Love You,” by Mary. J. Blige. It was the most low budget competition I’d ever seen. We won simply because we were the only ones in the category. We laughed so hard on the drive home, but no one could take away the fact we were winners. I still remember my part of the routine like it was yesterday. Friendship is good for the soul!
- Lastly, as I run down my sister circle memory lane, I smile thinking about...
-Dancing to Lil Bow Wow in onesie pajamas with my college roommate,
-Leaving Lionel Richie songs on each other's voicemails,
-Having sleepovers in new apartments with no furniture,
-Staying at an orphanage in Costa Rica,
-Laughing and sharing things about ourselves that are personal.
I cherish every one of these moments, and couldn't imagine my life without them or without the women in them. Thank you for allowing me to have the ultimate #sistercircle.
If this memo made you smile at least once, text someone from your #sistercircle and let them know you care.